How to Heal a Broken Heart.

2010-05-05T23:06:00.000-07:00

How do you heal a broken heart?

They say time heals everything. What they didn’t tell you is that at any moment that pain that has slowly subsided can come crashing back into you like it’s happening all over. You’re sitting at your desk at work, your cell phone beeps telling you you have a new text message. You open it thinking it’s one of your girls telling you to get online so she can tell you about some dude she met. But instead it’s you and your ex’s mutual friend asking where you been and how you’re doing.

It hits you.

No one told you that feeling of hearing your ex say to you “I can’t be with you, I can’t commit, I need a break to figure out what I really want” could suddenly rush from your stomach to your heart then take over your whole chest and stomach, only to cause your eyes to swell with tears.

Right at your desk. Yes at work.

And for some reason you let a tear fall, your face turns red, but your body is ice cold. No one told you the effects of time and the sting that occurs when this pain revisits. All this time you’ve been telling yourself it doesn’t count if you cry in the shower and if no one sees.

Today there is no shower close by. You cannot turn the radio on blast, breakdown and pull your knees up to you chest letting your tears camouflage themselves with the water beating down on you.

No.

It’s just you with your phone in your hand staring at a stupid text message that was able to conjure up all the pain you’ve held down, pushed aside and concealed because you don’t want to look weak. You don’t want people to feel sorry for you. But you stare at your cell and it causes your heart to hurt all over again.

Stop it.

Your mind is saying “Listen up bitch, man up, don’t cry, why are you hurting over someone who obviously doesn’t give a fuck about you? Stop it.” You fight to hold the tears back, to not cry at work. Until one of your coworkers looks at your face and asks “What’s wrong honey? Are you ok?” Before you can respond they put their hand on your shoulder. WTF. Everyone knows if someone is sad you do not touch them! (Well at least in my circle of friends.) Before you know it your tear ducts are on full blast like a car hit a fire hydrant.

No one tells you about this pain. No one tells you that you could breakdown at any moment. No one talks about it. There is no warning.

There isn’t one certain cure to heal a broken heart, but they say time heals everything.

Finally...

2009-03-12T01:49:00.000-07:00

So I've finally found the balls to blog. Thanks to reading my cousins blogs, she has inspired me. Maybe it'll help make me feel better about life....if I can ramble about it.

Tonight, I went to the bar to catch up with two of my friends. Of course the alcohol got us talking about all kinds or irrelevant shit. But my irrelevant topic was LOVE. I'm not talking about some High School puppy love kinda shit check the yes or no box if-you-like-me type of "LOVE". I'm talking about the Carrie Bradshaw Sex In The City type of love. As she states in the movie, "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." It drives me crazy thinking about this, I also think to myself does it really exist?? My bff, thinks it doesn't. My gbf (guy best friend) thinks it does, although he's never experienced it he believes it exists. I want it to exist, to be real, to have that hope but so far in all my 25 years of living I can't honestly and cleanly say that I've experienced this and neither did my bff and gbf. I once asked the man in my life if he believed in it and he said it only existed in movies, that our lives will never be that fairy tale romance, that a movie is simply a movie and was never based on on something real; that people don't interact with each other in that movie love story deal. Tonight, I asked him again if he believed in it; he said it could exist in a stalkerish kind of way. Great. There goes my hope for it being him right? Lol. But what if that's what I want? Is it something that I'll only be able to dream about? Do I settle for something less than that ridiculous love you'll only see in the movies?

My mind is boggled. Is real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love REAL or purely made up for story telling only to make an imprint in the minds of young girls who grow up to be strong independent woman who question and long for something that is inexistant?

Someone tell me so I can either believe in that kiss that makes one foot pop up or realize it is but a fairytale....

ME

How to Heal a Broken Heart.

Finally...